Annoyed and agitated

I have always had a hatred of those that seek to make themselves feel better by tearing down others, or making them feel belittled. Even as a child, I had a tendency to react badly to those that cut me down in public. I have low enough self esteem without someone attacking me for my views. Sometimes I know that I can be annoying, particularly when in a bad mood, because I will get confrontational.

I have been attending a weekly job club in the hopes of stopping myself from getting distracted, and to build up the connections for my self employment, and reestablishing my writing business. However the people running the course, have to cater to a more usual client, those who are looking to re enter paid employment at other companies, and as such have team activities that they deem necessary.

When I questioned the validity of it, albeit in a way that could have been perceived as aggressive, I received a rather aggressive response. I obviously have no idea what the woman had been dealing with in her personal life, but on the flip side she has no comprehension of what’s going on with me either. She spouted three different reasons why the activity had been set up, all of which I have heard numerous times over the years.

I have taken part in numerous different employment courses over the years as my paid employment has been sporadic at best. I obviously need assistance, but I don’t need someone who has no knowledge of me, to strong arm me into a nonsensical and contrived social group with people who only really share one quality. The only thing binding us together is that we are currently unemployed. There is no guarantee of us having anything else in common, and I have tried in previous years to establish connections with other people attending the course which all ended when the course did.

Those that run these type of courses might well have success with some of their clients, but I have come to find the enforced social involvement to aggravate me and make me less likely to speak not more. I just need someone to assist me with updating my CV, and making sure that I present my best self when I am sending out electronic applications. I don’t need to be forced into undertaking a activity which revolves around a fictional camping trip, and the items that are necessary for survival.

However it’s the patronising manner of the people delivering the course that really gets under my skin. I am a thirty something woman who has undertaken a variety of jobs both paid and unpaid, I have attended university, I have travelled to different countries, and the last thing I want is to have someone treat me like I am a child.